Have Tact, Don’t Creep Out Women

29 05 2009

tact

Tact is a skill that anyone can learn. It is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and internal dialogue of other people. If you have it, it can give you a significant edge when it comes to meeting and attracting women. If you don’t, your relationships with everyone are probably more strained than they should be, or hardly exist at all.

People who have mastered tact naturally know what is going on in the minds of others. Sensing this, they can then respond in a way that influences people in a positive way. You have to be careful with this though, employing too much tact can make you look like a wimp. There has to be a fine balance between using tact and maintaining that little edginess women love.

Example: “Nice dress…”(then wink & smile)

The “Nice dress” portion of this allows you to check her out without being creepy. You could probably get away with one “up and down” but any more than that or excessive staring would be acting without tact. Don’t get greedy with your eyes. The wink is flirtatious and helps you stand out from the droves of guys who simply drop compliments left and right and hoping for the best.

The amount of tact you use should be based on the person you are talking too. It requires awareness and the ability to change your behavior based on the way the person you are speaking with reacts to you.

For example, If you’re being too sexually aggressive or not quite aggressive enough with a woman you have just started seeing, you should keep your senses tuned to the way she is reacting to your advances or she may be encouraging them if you’re not being aggressive enough. If she suddenly seems defensive realize you should lay off and take a couple steps back. If she starts allowing you into her “comfort zone” or she moves into yours and you do nothing about it, it will signal to her you’re not attracted to her.

High Amounts of Tact

People with high amounts of tact are polite, courteous, and select their words carefully. Listening is key. They know what people say and what they mean. Too much tact can make you look dorky and boring. Balance is key, so have tact but still be direct and to the point. It’s ok to risk upsetting people occasionally.

Low Amounts of Tact

People with low levels of tact don’t shy from saying or doing exactly what it is they are thinking. They are often perceived as blunt, rude, or too aggressive. People may find this type of person a bit intimidating.

For example, a guy with low levels of tact would look a woman up and down 25 times during their conversation and totally creep her out because he thinks shes hot. Not the way to do it.

Balance Is Key

At the end of the day, you have to act in a way that you are comfortable with and allows you to forge strong relationships with people. Bottom line: don’t be so aggressive that no one wants to be around you and don’t talk and act like you are Royalty. Look her up and down, but only once.
-Gary
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