Have Tact, Don’t Creep Out Women

29 05 2009

tact

Tact is a skill that anyone can learn. It is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and internal dialogue of other people. If you have it, it can give you a significant edge when it comes to meeting and attracting women. If you don’t, your relationships with everyone are probably more strained than they should be, or hardly exist at all.

People who have mastered tact naturally know what is going on in the minds of others. Sensing this, they can then respond in a way that influences people in a positive way. You have to be careful with this though, employing too much tact can make you look like a wimp. There has to be a fine balance between using tact and maintaining that little edginess women love.

Example: “Nice dress…”(then wink & smile)

The “Nice dress” portion of this allows you to check her out without being creepy. You could probably get away with one “up and down” but any more than that or excessive staring would be acting without tact. Don’t get greedy with your eyes. The wink is flirtatious and helps you stand out from the droves of guys who simply drop compliments left and right and hoping for the best.

The amount of tact you use should be based on the person you are talking too. It requires awareness and the ability to change your behavior based on the way the person you are speaking with reacts to you.

For example, If you’re being too sexually aggressive or not quite aggressive enough with a woman you have just started seeing, you should keep your senses tuned to the way she is reacting to your advances or she may be encouraging them if you’re not being aggressive enough. If she suddenly seems defensive realize you should lay off and take a couple steps back. If she starts allowing you into her “comfort zone” or she moves into yours and you do nothing about it, it will signal to her you’re not attracted to her.

High Amounts of Tact

People with high amounts of tact are polite, courteous, and select their words carefully. Listening is key. They know what people say and what they mean. Too much tact can make you look dorky and boring. Balance is key, so have tact but still be direct and to the point. It’s ok to risk upsetting people occasionally.

Low Amounts of Tact

People with low levels of tact don’t shy from saying or doing exactly what it is they are thinking. They are often perceived as blunt, rude, or too aggressive. People may find this type of person a bit intimidating.

For example, a guy with low levels of tact would look a woman up and down 25 times during their conversation and totally creep her out because he thinks shes hot. Not the way to do it.

Balance Is Key

At the end of the day, you have to act in a way that you are comfortable with and allows you to forge strong relationships with people. Bottom line: don’t be so aggressive that no one wants to be around you and don’t talk and act like you are Royalty. Look her up and down, but only once.
-Gary




Confidence Boosters #3

24 05 2009
Eva, just because shes HOT

Eva, just because shes HOT

1.    Surround yourself with positive and optimistic people.  You become more like the  people you hang around with. The rich hang out with the rich.  The punks hang out with the punks.  Hang out with the type of person you want to become.  Cut out negative people from life as if they were an infected limb, because that’s what they are.

2.    Never let anyone else ruin your fun.  Your significant other or friend is being a jackass? Leave the area and call some people who are and want to be around you.  Don’t put up with any bullshit, ever.  If you do it once you will do it again.  The less you put up with, the more people will respect you and the more you will respect yourself for having integrity.

3.    Don’t let your job take over your life.  Make sure you have free time to clean your house, clean your desk, and maintain other friendships.  Make it a point to spend at LEAST one night a week with friends that you have a great time with.

4.    Become a constant learner.  When you meet someone new try to learn as much as you can from them if they specialize or work in something you have never done before.  The more you know, the more you can talk about and better relate to people from different walks of life.

5.    Socialize with everyone that crosses your path.  Say Hi to the coffee guy and ask him how his day is going. Don’t be that person who works from 9-5 and doesn’t say a word to anyone in the office.  Don’t be cheesy about it either..don’t walk around with a shit eating grin plastered on your face all day.  Just acknowledge the prescence of others and ask them something about what they do and how its going.  “Hey Bob, how was the hike?”  etc  People love it when you remember detail about their lives.

6.    Don’t do the same thing day in day out.  Do something fun, different, and exciting.  The people that complain that life is so boring and monotonous aren’t living; they’re waiting to die.

7.    Work hard, play hard, and know how to really relax. Make sure you’re getting at least 7 hours of sleep.

-Gary





Confidence Boosters #2

22 05 2009

bruce_lee (Custom)

1.    Know that it is ok to fail. A key to maintaining high self worth is to acknowledge that failure is part of life. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing. Take risks and learn from them if you fail. Failure is only acknowledged when you have stopped trying.

2.    Learn a new skill. You’ll increase what you know, what you can talk about, and you will become a more interesting person.  It will allow you to better enjoy all life has to offer and in turn will make you view each day as something new and exciting.  Take a yoga/martial arts/painting/cooking/language/computer/music class, etc.

3.    Exercise every day. There are literally thousands of positive reasons to exercise. It will decrease your bad cholesterol, increase your good cholesterol, lower blood triglycerides, decrease blood pressure, decrease stress, helps you lose weight, gain muscle, increase your self image, increase your self confidence, fend off heart disease, and give you more energy throughout the day. This run on sentence just touches the surface of the benefits of living an active life style.

4.    Eat a top notch diet. You will feel better about yourself and have the energy to remain positive through the day. Eat to live, don’t live to eat.

5.    Care about your appearance. Walk tall, shoulders back, head up, eyes forward (NOT at the ground). Look people directly in the eyes when you speak with them. Do not fear eye contact. Don’t stare like a statue though; you don’t want to look creepy either.  Look away once in a while.  When you adopt confident body language you will become more confident.  When you adopt submissive and defensive body language you will be feel less confident. Changing the state of your body will change the state of your mind.

 

-Gary





Chop Down The Pedastel

20 05 2009

If you put a woman up on a pedestal and worship her like a deity it is a guaranteed recipe for failure. If she feels like she has overwhelming power over you in any interaction ranging from long term relationship to first time meeting she will conscious or unconsciously not respect you and worst of all…

This will kill any remnants of attraction she may have felt for you

When a woman feels like she has you in the palm of her hand, there is no need for her to vie for your attention. The game will be over before it started and that’s boring. Boredom is the enemy.

There is a reason why the guys who know what they’re doing when first talking to a group of girls totally ignore the one girl they are actually interested in. Think about it. First, observe that by ignoring the woman they are interested in they are doing the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. This is a psychological tactic that will inject curiosity, give you a mysterious air, and best of all make her feel like she will have to work to get your attention. This is more effective on hotter women as they are used to being drooled on by every guy who’s eyeballs give her the up and down. Nice, now the tables are turned.  Rather than being the pursuer, you may now be the perused.

Men who put women on a pedastel will be dominated and controlled like a boring puppet. Do the opposite, but don’t be a jackass either.

-Gary





Confidence Boosters #1

18 05 2009

1. Know that you are immensely valuable.  Remind yourself everyday of what you have accomplished at work, social settings, finances, etc.

2. Know that your time is valuable.  You have the right to be annoyed when people waste it by not being on time, keeping you waiting, bailing on you, etc.

3. Know that you have the ability to learn and accomplish anything with enough persistence, blood, sweat and tears.

-Gary