I Moved!

10 06 2009

This Blog Has Moved to http://www.geeksguidetodating.com/





10 Ways To Be A Gentleman

7 06 2009

Stately Gentleman 2

1. Avoid  fighting in public with a woman your dating, save it for a private place

2. Don’t forget to introduce the woman your with as your date, friend, girlfrend to people when you’re out together

3.  If you initiate dinner plans then you should pay and vice versa.

4. Always let the woman order first

5. Always put your napkin in your lap at dinner

6. The bigger, more mature man can walk away from a potential altercation

7. Look people directly in the eyes when you meet or greet and give them a handshake.

8. In meetings, don’t hold conversations at the same time someone else is speaking. Let the other person finish their point before speaking.

9. Don’t talk so loud the world around you can hear your conversation

10. Don’t talk down to others

-Gary





6 Ways To Prepare For a Date

3 06 2009

hotdate

Image courtesey of: http://bigeyedeer.wordpress.com/

Nice – you did a decent job breaking the ice and scored a date. Now it’s time to make a great first impression. The time before you go out can be a bit nerve wracking, so here are some ways to calm the nerves and make you feel more confident.

1. Workout about 3-4 hours before you planned to meet. Make sure its a challenging workout. This will level you out and curb anxiety.

2. Pick up a gossip magazine like People and browse through it for about 10 – 15 minutes so you at least have a clue about the stuff women love to read and talk about. You’ll learn who’s cheating on who in hollywood, etc.  This will give you something to connect with almost any woman.

3. Plan so that you are on time. If you’re running late send a text.  It’s not cool to be “casually late” on a first date.

4. Take a relaxing shower, brush and floss your teeth, etc. Make sure you have clean nails and ears. Women notice the little details.

5. Stay positive and remind yourself that you are both going out to have a good time. Remember to make sure you smile when you first meet.

6. Bring a condom. If a woman is willing to have sex with you on the first date… not exactly long term relationship material and an ever BETTER reason to bring a condom. Better to be safe than having to get tested for STDs the next day.

-Gary





Four Fantastic First Date Locations

1 06 2009

icecream

The first date should always be lively, fun, casual, low cost, and offer a quick escape if need be. Avoid dates that require long time investments. If you find things aren’t working out and you’re not digging the woman you’re with, you can easily get out of the date within less than 20 minutes after you’ve had your coffee, ice cream, etc.

Forget the classic “dinner and a movie” date for a first date as it’s boring, expensive, and does not offer an easy out. If you’re single, there is a good chance you will have multiple first dates with different people. This can start to chew into your wallet if your constantly going the dinner or dinner and a movie route. Keep it simple, and stick to one of the four locations below. Meet each other at each location so that if things happen to go south, you don’t have to bear an awkward ride to your cars together.

All of these locations are in public so the woman feels more comfortable. Never invite a woman you have no rapport with to your home for a first date as this may appear rapistesque.

1. Coffee Shop – Ideally the one that isn’t a a big chain and has some local flair. The caffeine will give you both an endorphin rush that you can both enjoy together, and best of all these types of environments have a vibe that encourages interesting conversation.

2. Ice Cream – Similar to the coffee shop in that it’s low investment and yields delicious treats.  Great way to enjoy the weather while learning about someone new. You can test with ice cream to see if she’s ready to kiss you , “Want some? its wicked good!” If she does eat off your spoon, she also feels comfortable enough to kiss you.

3. Park – Lowest investment of all, all you have to pay for is your gas to get there. Its very natural to hold hands while walking in a park, so don’t hesitate to grab her hand to start physical contact early on.

4. Mall – Great for craptacular weather and allows you to walk and look at different things to keep the conversation rolling.

This should go without saying, but be a gentleman and pay for both your treat and hers. We’re keeping the first dates cheap, you can afford $10.

-Gary





Have Tact, Don’t Creep Out Women

29 05 2009

tact

Tact is a skill that anyone can learn. It is the ability to be sensitive to the feelings and internal dialogue of other people. If you have it, it can give you a significant edge when it comes to meeting and attracting women. If you don’t, your relationships with everyone are probably more strained than they should be, or hardly exist at all.

People who have mastered tact naturally know what is going on in the minds of others. Sensing this, they can then respond in a way that influences people in a positive way. You have to be careful with this though, employing too much tact can make you look like a wimp. There has to be a fine balance between using tact and maintaining that little edginess women love.

Example: “Nice dress…”(then wink & smile)

The “Nice dress” portion of this allows you to check her out without being creepy. You could probably get away with one “up and down” but any more than that or excessive staring would be acting without tact. Don’t get greedy with your eyes. The wink is flirtatious and helps you stand out from the droves of guys who simply drop compliments left and right and hoping for the best.

The amount of tact you use should be based on the person you are talking too. It requires awareness and the ability to change your behavior based on the way the person you are speaking with reacts to you.

For example, If you’re being too sexually aggressive or not quite aggressive enough with a woman you have just started seeing, you should keep your senses tuned to the way she is reacting to your advances or she may be encouraging them if you’re not being aggressive enough. If she suddenly seems defensive realize you should lay off and take a couple steps back. If she starts allowing you into her “comfort zone” or she moves into yours and you do nothing about it, it will signal to her you’re not attracted to her.

High Amounts of Tact

People with high amounts of tact are polite, courteous, and select their words carefully. Listening is key. They know what people say and what they mean. Too much tact can make you look dorky and boring. Balance is key, so have tact but still be direct and to the point. It’s ok to risk upsetting people occasionally.

Low Amounts of Tact

People with low levels of tact don’t shy from saying or doing exactly what it is they are thinking. They are often perceived as blunt, rude, or too aggressive. People may find this type of person a bit intimidating.

For example, a guy with low levels of tact would look a woman up and down 25 times during their conversation and totally creep her out because he thinks shes hot. Not the way to do it.

Balance Is Key

At the end of the day, you have to act in a way that you are comfortable with and allows you to forge strong relationships with people. Bottom line: don’t be so aggressive that no one wants to be around you and don’t talk and act like you are Royalty. Look her up and down, but only once.
-Gary




Confidence Boosters #3

24 05 2009
Eva, just because shes HOT

Eva, just because shes HOT

1.    Surround yourself with positive and optimistic people.  You become more like the  people you hang around with. The rich hang out with the rich.  The punks hang out with the punks.  Hang out with the type of person you want to become.  Cut out negative people from life as if they were an infected limb, because that’s what they are.

2.    Never let anyone else ruin your fun.  Your significant other or friend is being a jackass? Leave the area and call some people who are and want to be around you.  Don’t put up with any bullshit, ever.  If you do it once you will do it again.  The less you put up with, the more people will respect you and the more you will respect yourself for having integrity.

3.    Don’t let your job take over your life.  Make sure you have free time to clean your house, clean your desk, and maintain other friendships.  Make it a point to spend at LEAST one night a week with friends that you have a great time with.

4.    Become a constant learner.  When you meet someone new try to learn as much as you can from them if they specialize or work in something you have never done before.  The more you know, the more you can talk about and better relate to people from different walks of life.

5.    Socialize with everyone that crosses your path.  Say Hi to the coffee guy and ask him how his day is going. Don’t be that person who works from 9-5 and doesn’t say a word to anyone in the office.  Don’t be cheesy about it either..don’t walk around with a shit eating grin plastered on your face all day.  Just acknowledge the prescence of others and ask them something about what they do and how its going.  “Hey Bob, how was the hike?”  etc  People love it when you remember detail about their lives.

6.    Don’t do the same thing day in day out.  Do something fun, different, and exciting.  The people that complain that life is so boring and monotonous aren’t living; they’re waiting to die.

7.    Work hard, play hard, and know how to really relax. Make sure you’re getting at least 7 hours of sleep.

-Gary





Confidence Boosters #2

22 05 2009

bruce_lee (Custom)

1.    Know that it is ok to fail. A key to maintaining high self worth is to acknowledge that failure is part of life. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing. Take risks and learn from them if you fail. Failure is only acknowledged when you have stopped trying.

2.    Learn a new skill. You’ll increase what you know, what you can talk about, and you will become a more interesting person.  It will allow you to better enjoy all life has to offer and in turn will make you view each day as something new and exciting.  Take a yoga/martial arts/painting/cooking/language/computer/music class, etc.

3.    Exercise every day. There are literally thousands of positive reasons to exercise. It will decrease your bad cholesterol, increase your good cholesterol, lower blood triglycerides, decrease blood pressure, decrease stress, helps you lose weight, gain muscle, increase your self image, increase your self confidence, fend off heart disease, and give you more energy throughout the day. This run on sentence just touches the surface of the benefits of living an active life style.

4.    Eat a top notch diet. You will feel better about yourself and have the energy to remain positive through the day. Eat to live, don’t live to eat.

5.    Care about your appearance. Walk tall, shoulders back, head up, eyes forward (NOT at the ground). Look people directly in the eyes when you speak with them. Do not fear eye contact. Don’t stare like a statue though; you don’t want to look creepy either.  Look away once in a while.  When you adopt confident body language you will become more confident.  When you adopt submissive and defensive body language you will be feel less confident. Changing the state of your body will change the state of your mind.

 

-Gary